It Is True

Yes, it is true. I am (finally) a Jew. Friday, June 24, 2005, early in the morning, I went before the beit din where my daughter effectively named everyone present (there was Milkshake, Orange Twist, Gartilla and Rabbi). Then she introduced us all by our new names to Rabbi Randy. Such a polite and hospitable daughter I have!

There was me. Rob. Alia. Sue. Margaret. Maggie. Rabbi Susan. Rabbi Randy. Mrs. Pearlman, the mikvah lady.

The mikvah was an interesting and beautiful ritual. Rabbi Susan took Alia to the stairs of the mikvah and they sat. Rabbi Susan had her touch the water and told her the story of where that water came from--both the sky through rain and from Miriam's well. Alia and I went to the dressing bath room and prepared ourselves.

The water was wonderful--warm, clear, magnetic! Alia immersed first. We could only get one dunk out of her. Even though three is preferred, the one was accepted. Then it was my turn. After each dunk and blessing, I was unsteady (I don't really like to put my head under water). The last blessing everyone said with me (yes, they were behind a curtain!) and then they all broke out in song!

Rabbi Susan took Alia and I had some time alone to float in the mikvah and reflect. I didn't want to leave it. I was a little choked up about it. Alia came around the corner and desired to come in with me. She came down the stairs to me and we floated in the mikvah--equally drawn to these ancient waters.

It was a holy moment. That space between entering the waters a non-Jew and exiting the waters a Jew was holy.

Doing the Scratchy-Scratch

Okay, so that name I posted below does NOT mean what I thought it did. After much angst about not being able to decide on a Hebrew name...I was told to relax, clam down and quit trying so hard!

After doing the aforementioned, this is what I decided upon:

Ayelet-Hashachar
(ah-YE-let hash-char)

Meiri says the name refers to a melodious instrument in Psalms that starts with a low, subtle sound and gathers strength and volume. Just like the other meaning of the name, daybreak—the light of early dawn begins with the morning star and it rises slowly until it reaches a climax with the appearance of the dazzling sun.

I hope to be a “morning star” or a beacon of light for myself, my family and others.

I have also read that the name represents the transition between day and night, that space between the two. It sort of reminds me of what I have heard at shul about filling the spaces between the words with holiness.

I hope to be able to fill the space between day and night with holiness with hopes that such holiness spills over into the day.

Scratch That

Yes, scratch the Hebrew name I told you I was going to have for myself--Hedya Shiri. It has changed. It wasn't feeling right to me even though I loved the meaning of it.

Yana Ahava
"He/God answers with love."

Yana isn't technically a name, it is a verb...but it feels better to me. The sound of the name flows and I do believe that the we create sparks of godliness every time we engage in loving behavior. Also, no matter where I have been in my life (which has had its share of instability and problems), I feel that there has always been a person or situation positioned in my life which represented acceptance and love. Not that I believe it was divinely arranged, just that it has happened that way.

So, there we have my new Hebrew name...this Friday is the mikvah dip and conversion day and the day after is the d'var Torah...starting to get nervous...ack!

Matisyahu and Steel Train

They rocked! Completely! Steel Train opened the evening and they were fabulous! They are a YOUNG band from NY. Very diverse. They sang several different genres and really get the crowd moving.

Matisyahu was excellent. Very tall man. Taller than I thought he was. Margaret, with her motherly insticts, was concerned every time he jumped that he was going to hit his head on the steel rafters! He didn't, in case you were wondering. It was funny to see the scantily dressed women dancing to reggae/rap about God. They had NO clue what the lyrics were --or-- alternatively, they were dancing and dressing to seduce God! Ha!

The date is drawing near...and I am becoming consumed...

Busy Days

I have been extremely busy lately with many things...from trying to generate new income at work to working on a million different conversion items to attending lots of extra-curricular Jewish events.

Rachel and I went to Bais Abraham, an Orthodox shul, and *loved* it. It is a very eclectic place and we both think the rabbi is terrific. Even better, his wife kept her own last name and the congregants were super friendly. Rachel and I came up with a Grand Plan involving our husbands, conversion and shul membership. Bwaa-hahahahaha!

Monday night I took Alia to a reading-of-the-ten-commandments-slash-ice-cream-party for Shavuot (yes, another holiday!) that was fun. There was lots of food and a few projects for the kids.

Tuesday for lunch, Rob, Alia and I were invited to a Hassidic rabbi's house for Shavuot lunch. Very interesting! I felt like I was in a time warp to lo-ooong ago! It was neat to experience. When we left, Rob said, "Kimber, I don't think I could do that." I said, "Honey, I don't expect you to convert to a Hassid!" He said, "Oh, good! I could never learn all of those rituals and they speak Hebrew too fast!" However, he did feel comfortable there and said that he would be interested in learning more from the rabbi who is *super* friendly.

Tonight, Margaret and I are going to see Matisyahu at Mississippi Nights. He is a Hassidic Reggae singer. (Yeah, it has been a Chabad/Hassidic week thus far!) I am looking forward to a night out without the kids or Rob!

Friday, Margaret is coming over to celebrate Shabbat with our family (minus Rob who has to work). It should be fun...but what should I make...hrmmmmmm...

Correction!

I meant, I want some who will NOT be at my conversion to review my D'var Torah and give me some feedback. So, volunteers...?

Emerging

I am emerging. From that dark place I go to every now and then. When things are rough. When I don't have Boulter to run to.

(thanks for sending smiles my way--i really think that helped me out)

Some thoughts...

Shelah-lekha. That is my Torah portion for my conversion. Numbers 13:1 to 15:41. You can read it here: My Torah Portion. I wanted someone to read and comment on my D'var Torah (teaching) but I want it to be someone who will be there. So, any volunteers? If so, shoot me an email and I will forward you my comments on it. Feedback welcomed and expected!

____

My daughter is now three. THREE! When did that happen?

____

Chandler is now ten. TEN! When did that happen?

____

Two of my friends are expecting--Rachel and Lezli. Congratulations to both of you! For a brief moment (actually, for about 2 hours), I had insane thoughts about wanting to be pregnant again. However, I realized the insanity of it and came back to my senses! The next one I have will be adopted or through foster care.

____

Will someone please knock Matt Blunt upside the head with a blunt object. It is our only hope for him to come to his senses.

____

Chandler's teacher next year was Rob's teacher in grade school. Chandler's chess club teacher was Rob's history teacher in 5th grade.

____

Chandler made the top 10 in his chess club again this year out of 58 students!

____

Alia is arguing with me these days about what her Hebrew name will be when she converts with me. She thinks she gets to choose it. Ha! I want Hanne Aliyah which means "Gracious Alia" or alternatively "Graciously Go Forward." She wants Esther. Why? In her words, "Because I love Esther. She saved the Jewish people. And she is a queen!" And then she cries and says her "Hoobroo" name is Esther not Hanne Aliyah. What is a mom to do?!?

____

The name I chose for myself is Hedya Shiri (or Shirit). Hedya means "God's voice" or "the escho of God's voice" and Shiri mean "my song" or "song of my soul." I believe that God is really that internal voice/spark within us all (you know the one--the one that causes us to act compassionately towards others, the still voice inside that pushes us to become better people, that divine spark in each of us). So, the name to me means "The echo of God's voice is the song of my soul" and within the context above, I strive for that to indeed be the song of my soul.

____

Thoughts? Leave a comment in the comment section under this entry!