The Re-Post

As you read, we made it home, safe and sound. Lezli was a wonderful host. She made us feel welcomed and comfortable, her cooking is excellent and I always love to hear her usually hilarious stories about her life (or embarrassing stories about her husband, Robb!).

Alia did well on the drive in and out. She did not experience any car sickness that I could observe. She slept between an hour or two each way. She did not nap, however, at Lezli's. She was a little on the bossy, micromanaging side to Lex and for whatever reason (Dan!) she was kind of mean to Robb. At some point, she became a little jealous of Lex and we had to address that issue. I thought Alia adjusted pretty well to being away from home. Pictures will be up soon on her web site so check there in a few days.

Lex was a cutie. We took to each other immediately. He wanted me to hold him a lot since I am Super Kimber and when the jealous wrath of Alia kicked in, I found myself having to hold BOTH kids at the same time! Would not have been too hard if Alia wasn't so heavy! Lex was a snuggle bunny and I had a great time visiting him.

It was great to have dinner with Ini and Nisut. I haven't seen them in FOREVER. Ini may come into town soon and I am hoping to get together with her then. We were able to catch up a bit but I would love to see her again so we can continue catching up! By the way, she looks great--I think she said she lost just over 100 pounds. Wow!

Lezli and Robb turned me on to two old movies that somehow I missed in my university days--Shaun of the Dead (very funny) and Army of Darkness (hilariously dumb). I need to see Army of Darkness again because I think I missed a lot of one liners. I told Rob that he has to watch it with me.

All in all, it was nice to get away from home and work. It was nice to spend time with a human being who doesn't call me "Mommy" or "Aunt." It was relaxing and fun. Thanks, Lezli, for having us!

Home!

OH-MY-GOSH! I just wrote at least 5 paragraphs about my visit with Lezli and blogger ate it! I will have to try to recreate it tomorrow...I have to go to bed because I am pooped. D*&$U#! That was a good post.

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Yes, this is so me. I leave tomorrow morning and let's see...

1. I am not packed. Why? Because I have no clean clothes to pack. Why? Because it is all piled in a thigh-high pile in the basement waiting to be washed.

2. Alia is not packed. Why? See number 1.

3. Snacks are not bought and made into little snack packs. Why do I need snacks? Because Alia gets car sick. Still have to make a trip to the store to buy them.

4. The kitchen is TRASHED. Rob worked hard all week using natural remedies to get rid of our recent ant infestation from the rain and...they will probably come back because the kitchen is TRASHED!

5. I did successfully pack Chandler a bag to go to his mom's house so one thing was accomplished.

6. Directions? Who needs directions? I still need to call Lezli to get directions!

I am sure there is more but I can't get it together enough to accomplish the obvious things that need to be accomplished before leaving. Sometimes I wonder about myself!

Words

Remember the author I mentioned earlier--Elie Wiesel who wrote the book "Night"? Here is something he said in an interview in telling a story about a woman asking him a question.

Somebody had asked me, "What is the most important commandment in the Bible?" and I said, "Thou shalt not stand idly by." So she packed up her office and went to Macedonia—I met her there... We cannot free all the prisoners in the world or save all the victims of AIDS, but we can at least show them that we are with them.

Be Back Later

I leave Sunday in the wee hours of the morning for Illinois (just outside of Chicago) to visit Lezli and Lex (and Robb, too). It is spring break for the kids so Alia is going with me, Chandler is going to his mom's and Rob is staying home to *finally* finish painting the kitchen cabinets. I leave there sometime on Wednesday.

Thursday I have my first of 6 facial treatments. Woo hoo!

Friday is Shabbat.

Saturday and Sunday I am going on a Women's Spiritual Retreat (also in Illinois but closer to home) (and actually, pretty darn close to Kelly!). I don't have much details on it but it will be my first time OVERNIGHT away from Alia. *sigh*

The Bug

I have the poetry bug again (thanks, Beth!). I needed a kick start and I have sufficiently gotten it through reading original works. Below this entry will be the link that says (0) Comments or something like that. Click on it! Now! Fill it out with your personal info and then post either a poetry assignment like the one I will list below --or-- your original work to the assignment below. No! Don't be shy. It will be fun and I expect you all to participate!

Poetry Assignment One
Part 1: Go outside and observe an object (tree, stick, squirrel, manhole cover). Free-associate qualities of the object that exist only in your imagination. Picture the object in another environment.

Part 2: Write a poem based on the description you have from part 1, but set the object in motion. Have it do something.

Don't get too involved or perfectionist about it...make it quick, quirky and post it here in within two or so days. It will be fun! I promise! :) I will post mine ONLY after someone else posts theirs! *evil grin* I guess I should get started...

If There Is One Thing

If there is one thing that is certain to screw up my day and possibly my week, it is hearing about a young girl being kidnapped, raped and killed. For whatever reason, it is not just a news story to me. It is not an "oh my god that is horrible" and then get-back-to-life thing with me. It is an oh-my-god-i-find-it-hard-to-function-in-life thing. I imagine my own daughter going through it and I imagine my life after having such a thing occur. The same thing happens to Rob but to a lesser degree. I tend to hang on to it longer.

Jessica Lunsford.

It is just one name that made the headlines. I know there are other girls who ended up with the same fate who didn't make the news and whose families didn't receive the same kind of national outpouring of grief.

Regardless, today it is Jessica. Snatched out of her window with her favorite stuffed animal. Raped. Killed. Buried in haste. Nine years old. The same age as Chandler. What can a person say? What can a person do? I hope with all of my hope that none of us ever have a loved one go through that and that we never have to face the rest of our life without our precious children.

I will leave you with the great advise Jessica's father shared with reporters: "Make sure you get that hug and kiss every day before you leave the house."

Long, Long Ago

Thirteen years together.

Today is Rob and my anniversary. It doesn't seem like we have been together for that long on the one hand. On the other, I barely remember a time when we weren't together. I can say that our relationship now is better than at the 5-year mark and I would venture to say better than even the pre-Alia 10-year mark. Each year is better, more comfortable. As we each grow, we have continually found ways to make sure that we stay connected while still allowing for our individual growth.

I hear all of these stories about one's libido going down after giving birth and that it causes problems in marriage. I don't think mine has changed that much from pre to post birth; however, I do think that our bedroom life has improved over what it was at the 5-year and 10-year marks. Perhaps that is because Rob is a great dad and helps out so much around the house that I haven't fallen into resentment or exhaustion like a lot of working moms encounter.

I would marry Rob, faults and all, again given the chance. In fact, after conversion, we may just do that--have a remarriage and a bash!

The Process

For those interested in just what is involved with converting through the Reform movement...and specifically at the congregation I attend...

1. Minimum of one year of study and exploration.

2. Observance of a minimum of one year of holidays, being conscious of and learning about each holiday as it comes on the calendar and the spaces in between the holidays.

3. Introduction to Judaism class which is 16 weeks long and has classes in four-week blocks with a 4-week block between each (so the classes are spread out over 8 months).

4. Participation in the community, involvement in the activities and classes of the congregation.

5. Familiarity of Hebrew including learning the alphabet.

6. Regular meetings with either or both Rabbis.

7. Regular meetings and contact with the Outreach Coordinator.

8. Attendance of yearly cycle of congregational Basic Judaism class once a month.

9. Attendance at a spiritual enrichment weekend.

10. Regular study of Torah.

11. Attendance regularly at services.

12. Learn the prayers and music of services.

13. Appear before the Beit din. This is a "court" of three people, at least one of whom must be a rabbi. Often it consists of three rabbis. The Bet Din officially oversees the formal conversion. Because it takes place after learning, one part of the appearance will be to determine the Jewish knowledge of the conversion candidate. There might, for example be a question about the meaning of the Jewish Sabbath or about the Jewish belief in one God. These questions are not meant to trap candidates; the questions are meant to assess the sincerity of the candidate and to make sure the conversion was entered into freely.

14. Choose or be given a Hebrew name.

15. T'veelah in the Mikvah. This is a ritual bath containing collected rain water or at a natural body of water such as a lake or river. T'veelah , or immersion, also requires a Beit Din consisting of three rabbis or a rabbi with two Jewish witnesses. Prior to immersion, the candidate is asked for the last time if she is doing this of her own free will and if she is committed to Judaism and the Jewish people. The candidate immerses herself once, then recites a traditional blessing followed by two more immersions. She continues with a Shecheheyanu , the blessing which celebrates new and special events, and the conversion is complete.

16. Congregational ceremony. This includes standing before the congregation, receiving Torah, leading the Shema and D'var Torah that is at least two pages. A portion of the Torah is read every week so that by the end of the year, the whole Torah has been read. Each section is call a Parashah. D'var Torah is the wisdom that I understand from the Torah portion that I will in turn teach/share with the congregation.

Whew! It looks like Alia and I may be having a June conversion date. All are welcome to attend Shabbat services--I would love to have you there!

Night

I recently read a book called "Night" by Elie Wiesel given to me by Margaret (thanks again, Margaret!). I give it 5 stars.

I had heard an excerpt from it in an URJ class I took with the theme of Holocaust. It brought most in the class close to tears. That is some powerful literature! The book is simply amazing. Here is the amazon.com description:

Nobel laureate Elie Wiesel's wrenching attempt to find meaning in the horror of the Holocaust is technically a novel, but it's based so closely on his own experiences in Birkenau, Auschwitz, and Buchenwald that it's generally--and not inaccurately--read as an autobiography. Like Wiesel himself, the protagonist of Night is a scholarly, pious teenager racked with guilt at having survived the genocidal campaign that consumed his family. His memories of the nightmare world of the death camps present him with an intolerable question: how can the God he once so fervently believed in have allowed these monstrous events to occur? There are no easy answers in this harrowing book, which probes life's essential riddles with the lucid anguish only great literature achieves. It marks the crucial first step in Wiesel's lifelong project to bear witness for those who died.

It is only 128 pages and I read it in a few hours. It is so brutally honest in parts that it makes me shudder. Near the end, the insights into our own potential for unethical behavior in the midst of devistating circumstances (the kind where we judge another in a certain situation but then later, if really in that situation, we find we may actually consider it as well) is disturbing. More so, though, Wiesel's ability to recognize and admit to it is not only brave but potentially heroic. Most of us don't have that kind of self-awareness and if we do, we certainly aren't in the habit of pointing it out--even in our literature and poetry.

Please read it! And comment here, in the comment section of this blog if you feel compelled.

Prayer

Prayer has always been a sticky point for me. I mean, really, to whom am I praying? To God? Why? What can He do? What does He do? Do I really think God is a being that receives and responds to prayer?

The other sticky point is the selfish nature of prayer. Petitionary prayer, that is. Still, isn't that most common kind of prayer? Isn't that what we do when we pray...ask for something?

Surprisingly, I have no problem with congregational prayer. I have a bit but not much of a problem with repetitive, pre-written, non-congregational prayer. But prayer at home (or anywhere else), by myself with my own made-up words?

Rabbi T said to me, "What if we define prayer as any communication--you to God or God to you..." or Nature to me or me to Nature...hmmm. That can change things. Sitting in a canoe on the river and experiencing that feeling of Oneness can be interpreted as prayer. Standing by my neighbor at synagogue while reciting the Shema and getting a lighter version of that canoe experience can be interpreted as prayer. Verbalizing my fears or hopes regarding personal situations or that of others can be prayer.

I just finished reading an excellent book that has helped out with the concept of prayer. It is called "First Steps to a New Jewish Spirit" by Rabbi Zalman M. Schachter-Shalomi with Donald Gropman. He says that prayer is hard and that finding a prayer space, lighting candles and changing the smell with incense can help prepare one for prayer. He also says you will feel foolish praying and that is fine--you will get past that feeling. And he said not to give up because one day you will receive the benefit of prayer and you will experience that two-way communication. When you do, you will realize how absolutely beautiful it is.

Beyond saying the Shema before bed with the kids and when waking in the morning, I have done nothing with prayer. I would like to give it a try in some kind of personal and formal way. After all, I do believe that regular practice is necessary to spiritual growth and I am hoping to start with prayer.

Declutter Phase

It is amazing to me how easy it is to accumulate junk. When I was pregnant with Alia and nesting, I threw out 17 trash bags of accumulated junk. Somehow, all the space that was created has now been filled with even more stuff.

I am determined once again to get rid of the clutter. I have the goal of every other day to throw out one bag of junk. Today I went through two drawers and threw nearly everything in both of them away. There was very little worth keeping.

By Monday night, I hope to have the coat closet cleaned out. Can you believe that if the door is opened, one risks head injury from items falling from above...and the bottom floor space area is crammed with who knows what? There are barely any coats in the coat closet because of all the dry cleaning we shoved in there months upon months ago.

I have heard it said that you can "sort out your life by sorting out your junk." This is my goal.

Motivation...Or Something Like That

Today, I started something new. I woke up at 5:00 a.m., ate breakfast and headed off to the J where I am a new member. I joined the JPlus so that I could have access to a women's only workout area and other such things. Since my ankle is still sore from the fall, my morning went something like this...

I went to the JPlus Health Club area and got my permanently assigned locker.

Then I changed into my suit (brave me!), took a quick shower and headed to one of two indoor pools. The pool I chose was the one that is 86 degrees. There are three sections to it--aerobic water walkers, laps and recreation. This whole pool is 3 feet 9 inches deep. I chose the recreation section and practiced swimming. I did this for about 25 minutes.

I then went back to the JPlus area and took a whirlpool bubble bath. There are three of them. I swung the curtain around for privacy, filled the tub with hot water, added a bubble bath squirt, hit the jets and soaked for about 15 minutes. It was so relaxing! And like a bearclaw tub (though this was metal), my entire body could be stretched out and it was deep!

Then I took a shower, washed my hair, got dressed, sat in front of a mirror and made my hair a big frizzy ball. Naturally, I forgot my makeup bag that had my deodorant and zit-cover-up but...ah well! Not stressing here after my relaxing morning.

I made it to work by 7:30 a.m.

I feel GREAT!

Welcome

So here we are...my new blog. I am not finished adding links and other items to the side bar but I hope within a few days to do just that. So, please, hang in there and this thing will be up and running in no time!